Let's Hear It for 2012!

2011 was a mixed bag for me. I got a job, then I lost it, and the process of losing it drove me to a psychiatrist's couch and the wonders of pharmaceuticals. But I lucked out and had a job in my back pocket, a lucrative gig I could do it at home for only a few hours a day, which sustained me during the summer and fall. But then that dried up, so the work is now less than a trickle. So I continue to collect unemployment, but I had to file a new claim, and though it was approved I have a phone appointment with them on Wednesday, about which I have no idea. I have been doubling my anxiety medication in preparation for that call.

I also turned 50 in 2011, which is pretty fucking old. I'm older now than three of my grandparents were when I was born. I'm older than the United States president, if only by a few months. If actuarial tables are correct, I'm deep into the second half of my life. I've lived more life since graduating college than I did before. I was born before color TV, before the calculator (remember adding machines?) and I remember when Pong was cutting edge technology.

Though I'm closer to death than birth, and though I have no job prospects on the horizon, I'm optimistic about 2012. Why? Love. Yes, I am in love, and she loves me, too. It's a very cinematic story really. I met a girl 16 years ago on a chat line, of all places. We hit it off, but she lived in Las Vegas and I lived in New Jersey, and since I was working for Penthouse, I wasn't about to quit. She had no interest in coming here, so she ended up getting married to someone else. But we stayed friends all that time, and we stuck together through thick and thin.

Now she's divorced, and we're going to give it a go. There are many complications--she has two adopted kids of different races, and they are special needs. We're still separated by a continent, but that will change. We've gone back and forth on who will move, but right now it's me moving there, which is pretty exciting, since I've had a thing about Vegas since even before I met her. I wrote a screenplay about Area 51, and am currently writing (though am stuck) on a novel that takes place in Vegas. Maybe by living there I can finish it. The unemployment rate in Las Vegas is the worst in the country, but since when I have done things logically?

This is all very tentative, but I'm of the attitude that fuck it, I'm going to do it. We'll need money--she's getting a pretty large divorce settlement from her ex-husband's rich family, so that will make things easier. I may even go back to school--UNLV has has a master's program in creative writing. Of course I won't like the heat, and culture in Las Vegas means Celine Dion and Cirque du Soleil. But, at 50, I think it's a good time to reinvent myself. Maybe I'll get a tattoo, learn to ride a motorcycle, or learn how to play poker and go pro. Well, probably not, because I suck at card games. But, as they say, unlucky at cards, lucky in love.

Happy new year to all my readers. I'm able to see where you all are from. I get readers from places as disparate as Macedonia to Malaysia to Bolivia. I have a hunch you don't stay here for long--my number one post is on porn star Kagney Linn Karter, and I imagine you guys who find it are looking for a picture much more risque than the one I posted. But even if you're only here for a few seconds, thanks for visiting, and I hope you come back. I started this blog on a whim almost six years ago, and it's become kind of an obsession for me. I'll keep doing it, as long as I have the mental faculty to do so.