Alfie (2004)

The remake of Alfie from 2004, directed by champion of the middlebrow Charles Shyer, is not very good, but a good lecture could be written about the differences between this film and the original. You could tailor this lecture to women's studies, men's studies, sociology or psychology courses. Suffice it to say, ladies, you've come a long way, baby.

This Alfie is still a ladies' man, a cad of sorts, this time played by Jude Law. But this Alfie is much softer around the edges. Shyer reproduces the gimmick of having Alfie talk to the camera, but you don't see the glint of a predator in his eye that Michael Caine had. Law plays him as cuddly, which I guess is a sign of the times.

Most of the plot follows the first film, but aside from Alfie being more lovable, the women are treated much more differently. As I wrote about the 1966 film, the women in that film were treated as almost subhuman, doormats of a most unpleasant nature. Here the women are much more assertive, and use Alfie almost as much as he uses them.

The most glaring example is Marisa Tomei, who replaces Julie Foster as Alfie's "stand-by." Only this time, Tomei doesn't play a woman who has a pathological attraction to Alfie, and won't tolerate philandering. Instead of Alfie knocking her up, she's already a single mother, and has no problem giving him the boot.

The character based on the hitchhiker played by Jane Asher is now Sienna Miller, who instead of becoming Alfie's scrubwoman is now a manic depressive. Alfie gives her the heave-ho, not because she's domesticating him, but because he can't stand her moods.

And Susan Sarandon is the stand-in for Shelley Winters' cougar. This sequence is very similar to the first film, in that she's an older woman that Alfie finds in remarkable condition and decides he wants to settle down with, but finds a younger man in her bed.

As for Alfie cuckolding a friend, he does that here, too. Omar Epps plays Alfie's co-worker (they're chauffeurs), with whom he plans to buy their limousine company. But he sleeps with Epps' girlfriend (Nia Long), and as in the first film, an abortion is planned. But attitudes about abortion have changed that scene, which in the original was sinister, to something matter-of-fact.

Shyer, who specializes in bland family movies like Father of the Bride and Baby Boom, takes a subject that was certainly not fit for families and neuters it. There's some adult situations, and Miller shows off her boobs. But the film has no edge, and Law's pain is not that interesting. He gets an older adult man to confide in, played by Dick Latessa (this part seemed to have a cameo by Caine written all over it, I wonder why he's not in it, since I don't think Michael Caine turns down anything). Frankly, and almost unbelievably, Shyer has made Alfie a bore.

I was also surprised to see it set in New York City, though Alfie is still English. In the extras, the production designer explains that in today's England, it would all seemed "gratuitous," whatever that means. Is she saying that men in England are now all gentlemen, but in New York it's still possible to be a shit? I don't know about the former, but I'll say she's right in the latter.

Alfie's final speech is lifted almost verbatim from the original, but is not followed by the famous song. Instead we get a forgettable number from Mick Jagger and Dave Stewart. What an outrage!