Ted

After the Oscar nominations, I try to chase down the films that got nominated that I haven't seen. I start with Ted, which got a Best Song nomination. The song wasn't so hot, but the movie's a little better. A little.

The concept is good--a lonely boy gets a teddy bear at Christmas (although 8 is a bit too old to be getting a stuffed animal--clearly the kid has issues) and makes a wish that he could be real. Pinocchio-like, the stuffed bear comes to life.

Flash forward almost thirty years. The bear's celebrity has worn off (there's a neat scene that somehow has him a guest on the Johnny Carson Show), and he and the boy (now Mark Wahlberg) are still best buds, but mostly just hang out, smoke pot, and watch bad movies (their favorite is Flash Gordon). Wahlberg has a girlfriend (Mila Kunis), but Ted keeps him with one foot firmly planted in his childhood. Wahlberg has to move on from Ted, but can he?

The film takes this premise and milks it for all its worth. In what is really only about thirty minutes of material, it gets old fast. Sure, it's funny to see a plush toy smoking a bong, but that only goes so far. By the end, when the film settles for rank sentimentality, I had given up on it.

There is a lot to like, though. I thought the decision to have Ted not be a secret, like Mr. Ed, was good, and thus dispensed with a lot of cliches. Though I never really laughed out loud, I did smile a lot, especially in a fight between Wahlberg and Ted (voice by director Seth MacFarlane). It reminded me that Ted is, in actuality, not real, which is an indication of how good the special effects are.

But there are problems. Subplots involving Kunis' asshole boss (Joel McHale) and a creepy guy who kidnaps Ted (Giovanni Ribisi) are nonstarters. I did get a kick out of the use of celebrity cameos, like Norah Jones (she had sex with Ted, and it wasn't bad considering he doesn't have a penis), Ryan Reynolds (the "Van Wilder looking-guy") and especially Sam Jones, Flash Gordon himself, who plays himself self-mockingly and seems to be happy and grateful for the chance.