J-Lo

It is reported that when it was suggested to Warren Beatty that he hire Madonna to play Breathless Mahoney in Dick Tracy he responded, "Isn't that like working with a country?" The same could probably be said of Jennifer Lopez, megastar. She seems to an industry unto herself now. What's forgotten is whether she has actually has any talent. I took a look at a bunch of her films, from Anaconda to Monster-in-Law, to get a sense of just where her appeal comes from.

Of course she is beautiful, and she became a butt of jokes for her, er, butt, but it's interesting to discover that in some of her early films she displayed a kernel of talent and daring, taking on edgy projects by directors like Oliver Stone and Steven Soderbergh. That's all gone now, though, as she churns out one disposable romantic comedy after another. Except for a few minor exceptions, if her name is in a cast list, it's probably an unwatchable film.

In Stone's U-Turn Lopez plays the quintessential femme fatale, a spider luring Sean Penn's fly into her web. In Soderbergh's Out of Sight, Lopez's best role, she is U.S. Marshall Karen Sisco, a tough cop who happens to get seduced by crook George Clooney (who can blame her?) Oh, she made a few stinkers early on, like Anaconda (with some of the worst CGI I've ever seen) and Money Train, but that' s forgivable, she was an up-and-coming actress and those were stepping stones. But after Out of Sight, when she became fodder for tabloids, something horrible happened.

It may have started with The Wedding Planner. This is a by-the-numbers romantic comedy, the kind that are supposedly marketed for women (though the women I know would probably hate it). Lopez does okay in creating a character, a wedding planner who has a horrible romantic life, but the film itself is just dreck, and includes a performance by Justin Chambers as a Sicilian that has to be seen to be believed. Apparently a dialogue coach was not hired. Then came Maid in Manhattan, also completely disposable, a Cinderella story with Lopez as a chambermaid getting involved with rich guy Ralph Fiennes. All I could think while watching this harmless bit of fluff was, "What was Ralph Fiennes thinking?"

In the past few years Lopez has made at least one decent film, An Unfinished Life. Oh, it is typical Lasse Hallstrom fare (see my review of The Hoax, below, to see that Hallstrom is capable of breaking this mold) about forgiveness and family and blah blah blah. Lopez plays a battered woman who escapes her boyfriend and goes to live with her estranged father-in-law, Robert Redford, who blames her for his son's death. Redford is the key to this film, and he's a pleasure to watch. Morgan Freeman plays much the same character he would in Million Dollar Baby, the sage friend of a grizzled old white man. Interestingly, though An Unfinished Life was released later, it was filmed before Million Dollar Baby.

Then there's Monster-in-Law. I did something with this film I rarely do: I turned it off halfway through. The first half-hour is barely tolerable, a fairy-tale meeting between free-spirited temp Lopez and handsome doctor Michael Vartan. I suppose there are women who fantasize about things like this. Maybe it's their version of porn. I thought the film would perk up when Jane Fonda appears at about the thirty minute mark, figuring an old pro would give this lackluster film some juice. She plays a Barbara Walters-style journalist who is a little too attached to her son. But even she is unable to contain the idiocy of this script, so I bailed. I can only take some many of these stupid romantic comedies, I guess.

A few words about Gigli, which was also part of my J-Lo film festival. Made at the height of her tabloid relationship with Ben Affleck, Gigli was famously bad, and as usual with these sorts of things, it wasn't as bad as I expected. It's an odd film, to be sure, about hired killers who are surprisingly squeamish holding a retarded man hostage. At least Affleck and Lopez look to define characters, however ridiculous they may be. Lopez's character is a lesbian. There are not that many prominent lesbian characters in mainstream films, so I'm not sure that when there is one she should so quickly abandon her predilection for a meathead like Affleck's character. But there is a scene so bad that it's good: Lopez, while doing yoga in a skintight outfit, explaining why the vagina is superior to the penis. You can't make up stuff like that.

It would be nice to see Lopez return to doing something more edgy and risk-taking, but perhaps her acting chops just aren't up for it. Instead she can be most well known for her ass and her romantic escapades. So be it.