New Jersey--Where You Can't Pump Your Own Gas

I've lived in New Jersey for over thirty years. I've heard the usual cracks when telling people where I live (not where I'm from--the answer to that question is Michigan, for some reason). Yes, New Jersey has some of the ugliest scenery you can imagine, especially on the major thoroughfares, but well over ninety percent is lush and green and could be mistaken for the rolling hills of Virginia. And while I've never personally known anyone in the Mafia (at least I don't think I have) I'm sure the saga of the Sopranos is not complete fantasy.

Very often I hear, especially from people in neighboring states, of the oddity that in New Jersey you can not pump your own gas. Along with Oregon, we are the only people in the country who can not do that, and I'm frequently at a loss to explain why. I had that conversation again today with a co-worker who lives in Maryland, so spent some time online trying to find out why.

Turns out the law was passed way back in 1949, when it might have made some sense. But why in god's name hasn't this law been ashcanned years ago, like laws against buying liquor on Sundays? There seems to be a passionate resistance to it, and it's kind of baffling. There is an organization called the New Jersey Gas Retailers that is deadset against it, and have two arguments, both of which define the word specious. One, it's for safety reasons, and two, it saves jobs.

Safety reasons? Anyone who can not figure out how to use a gas pump has no business operating a vehicle. It's easier than operating a dishwasher. The spokesman for the gas retailers says that people may pump the gas in the wrong hole. What other hole is there? The tailpipe? And as for safety, is there a rash of people going up in flames from dropping a cigarette into a puddle of petrol in the other 48 states? This is infantilizing at its worst.

As for the job issue, well, I suppose that could be true, but how many tears were shed when elevator operators and switchboard operators lost their jobs due to technological advances? Besides, there's a way around that. How about offering both self and full service? Many states do this, and have to by law because of people with disabilities. If you want someone else to pump your gas because it's cold out or you just don't feel like getting out of the car, you can choose full service, but if you'd rather get in and out quickly and have mastered the complex steps required to pump your own gas, you could that too. The price for both should be the same. Just because some people like to be catered to like pashas shouldn't rule out the possibility that those of who want to help ourselves shouldn't be able to.

I would always choose to pump my own. When I'm driving out of state and fill up it's a treat, like getting a substitute teacher who doesn't have a severe set of arcane rules. From my reading, though, neither New Jersey or Oregon are likely to switch, even if it meant lower gas prices. That's just nuts.