Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Hellboy II: The Golden Army was written, directed and photographed by Guillermo del Toro, one of the most innovative and exciting directors working today. It's full of action, bizarre creatures, and has two love stories. Yet, my reaction is that of Peggy Lee's: Is that all there is?

I suppose if one were Rip Van Winkle and awoke after a long sleep and this was the first film they saw, they might well be dazzled. But it seems that every week, especially in the summer, we see another special effects extravaganza, and after a while they blur into one long spectacle. The films that stand out do because of a particularly impelling story or interesting characters, and Hellboy II is lacking in this area. I'm sorry to say that it's ho-hum.

Hellboy, for those who didn't see the first film, is a demon who was captured by the U.S. military as a baby and raised as human, and works for an ultra-secret organization that deals with paranormal occurrences. As embodied by Ron Perelman, he is a cigar-chomping rogue who loves cats, TV, and candy. His cohorts are his sweetheart, Liz (Selma Blair) who can set herself ablaze, and Abe (Doug Jones), a kind of gill-man (think of the Creature From the Black Lagoon) who is also an intellectual and classical music buff. New to the team this time is Johann Krauss, who is nothing but ectoplasm inhabiting what looks like an old flight suit.

In this adventure, they are dealing with creatures from folklore who are very real. In a prologue in which the eleven-year-old Hellboy is read a story by his father-figure (John Hurt) about a war between the elves, goblins and trolls vs. humans. The elven king had an indestructible golden army built that couldn't be stopped, but he regretted the bloodshed and struck a live-and-let-live truce with the humans. His son, though, wanted to keep the war going, and has spent all these years in exile. When a piece of a crown that is necessary to get the golden army back up again comes up for auction, the baddie prince snatches it.

Given this premise, del Toro has a field day with mystical creatures. Mike Elizalde is billed as the creature design man, and he is to be lauded, even though I'm sure del Toro had a lot of say in the matter. Anyone who has seen Pan's Labyrinth will recognize his distinctive imagination (he favors creatures who have eyes anywhere but on their faces). As wonderful as all this is, there is a distinct sense of been-there, done-that. Ever since the cantina scene in Star Wars 31 years ago, bizarre creatures in a communal setting has a high bar to reach. In Hellboy II it is the troll market, which is under the Brooklyn Bridge (how did del Toro resist calling it the Goblin Market, in a nod to the poem by Christina Rosetti?)

In between the battles featuring pint-size tooth fairies, massive ogres named Wink, and towering forest gods, the characterization focuses on Hellboy's relationship with Liz (she's got a devil-bun in the oven) and the well-worn theme of the superhero as "other," feared and misunderstood by the people he is protecting. Perelman does very well with the character, who speaks like a character out of Mickey Spillane while looking like Mephistopholes. There is also more focus on Abe, who falls hard for the evil prince's sister (Ann Walton). He and Hellboy share a humorous moment of getting drunk while listening to Barry Manilow.

That moment pretty much stands alone, though. There's little wit in the script (the comedy involving Jeffrey Tambor's put-upon boss is lame). Krauss is initially an interesting character, but not for long, and the climactic battle is resoundingly empty. I don't know if del Toro is signed for any more of these, I hope not. Let Hellboy and Liz ride off into the sunset, and del Toro can concentrate on The Hobbit or whatever else springs from his fertile imagination.