Masturbating Fetuses

I don't think there's any issue, in my lifetime, that has been as divisive for as long a period of time as abortion rights. Even 40 years after the Supreme Court's decision in Roe v. Wade, the legality of abortion is as fragile as a house of cards, with any number of groups and individuals eager to huff and puff and blow it down.

This week the house passed a bill that would make abortion illegal after 20 weeks. Why 20 weeks? Well, supposedly this is the threshold at which fetuses feel pain. And how do we know that? Well, according to Congressman Michael Burgess, it's because fetuses masturbate.

Burgess, a back bencher who picked a great way to introduce himself to the American public, knows this because he's seen sonograms where the fetus's hand is between his legs. So, in essence, he thinks that fetuses masturbate. Scientists rushed in to say this was poppycock. But here's what's disturbing: Burgess is an OB/GYN. I imagine many women who were his patients are now thanking whatever power is necessary that they survived his care.

Of course I am pro-choice. I see the issue as a women's right to control her own body, which outweighs the life of an unborn child. This is not to say that I favor abortion--no abortion is a joyous occasion, and there should be as few of them as possible, but outlawing it is not the way to do it. Women will abortions whether they are legal or not, but if they are illegal, they will be far more dangerous.

There are reasonable people who are opposed, but they are outnumbered by a menagerie of extremists and oddballs like Burgess, who belong to a cult of the unborn. Outwardly it appears to be a religious thing, that all life is sacred, blah blah blah. But many  have pointed out that it also appears to be a male power thing--the right to an abortion is a way for women to exercise too much power over the male dominion.

This comes out when discussing the exception of rape in abortion laws. Too many politicians have been too cavalier about rape and put their feet in their mouths when discussing this. It cost two men the senate last year--most prominently Todd Akin, who said that women's reproductive shut down while being raped. Not learning from this is Arizona's Trent Franks, who said that pregnancy from rape is rare. I'm not sure what he means by rare--one would be too many to me. I did a little digging and estimates are that five percent of all rapes result in pregnancy, which sounds low, but that's still a considerable amount of women forced to carry the child of their attacker. In many states, the rapists have full rights of parenthood, which is so wrong that it makes the head spin.

The public is still torn on this issue, too. A recent Pew poll shows that over sixty percent, however, don't want Roe v. Wade to be overturned, while it's about fifty-fifty in terms of approval of abortion. This is an issue that's not going away, especially when there are so many in Congress who are insensitive to women's issues and completely at sea when it comes to basic science.

By the way, I'm hoping that somewhere a group of kids have taken the name Masturbating Fetuses as their band name.