Bad Santa

For last night's holiday viewing I chose the most scabrous Christmas movie ever made, Bad Santa, directed by Terry Zwigoff and released in 2003. This is the third time I've seen it, and it remains audaciously funny and gleefully profane, and even has a heart. While it doesn't shock like the first time I saw it, it still manages to pack a naughty punch.

The simple premise is that a couple of thieves have a yearly plan: they get employed at department stores every Christmas as a Santa Clause and an elf (one of them, Tony Cox, is a little person, so that helps). Cox does all the logistical work, while Santa, Billy Bob Thornton, is a drunken miscreant whose only worthwhile skill is safecracking. Cox has to put up a lot with him, as Thornton is the world's worst Santa--belligerent to kids, always drunk, and occasionally pissing himself.

Their current job is in Phoenix. They get hired by store manager John Ritter (his last role) but Ritter is suspicious after he hears Thornton rogering a woman in the big and tall section (he tells her she "won't shit right for a week"). Ritter takes his concerns to the security manger, Bernie Mac, who uncovers the ploy and wants in.

Meanwhile, Thornton has taken up residence in the home of a pathetic kid named Thurman Merman (Brett Kelly), who is one of those kids that seem to exist in every school--the clueless, friendless, kid who doesn't realize snot is running down his nose, his clothes don't match, and is a target for wedgies. Thornton has also started a relationship with a woman (Lauren Graham) who has a Santa fetish (her cries of "fuck me, Santa!" are also ear-opening).

Bad Santa is an anti-Christmas movie, but even it succumbs to holiday magic, as Thornton starts to realize he cares about the kid. The climax, even after all the disgusting things Thornton has done over the movie, may still bring a tear to your eye.

I think the best thing about Bad Santa is that it went balls out, so to speak, and didn't hit the brakes at any point. Glenn Ficarra and John Requa push every idea, and while that sounds like it would be too much it just builds. Thornton is so good at playing disheveled and contemptible that one can't help but laugh. And the dialogue given to Cox is amazing. He tells Thornton, "You are by far the dumbest, most pathetic piece of maggot eatin' shit that has every slid from a human being's hairy ass." And perhaps the most quoted is this exchange with Mac:

Mac: I could stick you up my ass, small fry.
Cox: Yeah? You sure it ain't too sore from last night?
Mac: You got some lip on you midget.
Cox: Yeah? Well these lips were on your wife's pussy last night. Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!

I was interested to read that Jack Nicholson and Bill Murray both wanted to play the lead role but had other commitments (for Murray it was Lost in Translation). Bad Santa 2 will be released next year, and I'm eager to see it.