Happiness Is a Warm Gun

Guns, and the regulation or lack thereof, has been an inflammatory issue for as long as I can remember, and it doesn't seem like it will change any time soon. Unlike civil rights, there has been no movement on sane gun laws in the United States, due mostly to the National Rifle Association, the most effective lobbying organization in the nation. Also, there is an attitude about guns, particularly among white rural citizens, that defies description.

If I had my way, I'd take away everybody's guns. I can say that because I'm not running for anything. If I was running, the NRA would come down on me like a hammer. Also, there is the sticky wicket of the Second Amendment, which reads: "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." If I had a time machine, I would go back to 1787, put on a powdered wig, and tell those guys that they are drafting one of those most brilliant documents in the history of man, except for that one, ungrammatical sentence. Are those two separate ideas? Or did they mean that the right of the people to bear arms is related to well-regulated militias. Because what they seem to be saying is that militias should be well regulated, but citizens rights should not be infringed. Just what the fuck did they mean?

I suspect, though I am not an expert on this, is that citizens had a right to bear arms in those days because they didn't want British soldiers riding into town and taking over. Today we have police, the National Guard, and the Armed Services, which are all heavily armed against invaders. Do citizens need guns to protect themselves? Against what, exactly? There are more people shot by toddlers in the U.S. than terrorists. The two yahoos in the picture above--do they really expect ISIS to attack the cleaning goods aisle at the supermarket, or are they just walking around with automatic weapons to compensate for their lack of masculinity?

I think the resistance to gun control, any kind of gun control, even completely reasonable background checks, stems from a distinctly American repulsion at being told what to do. I hear it, but in order to have a civilization, there have to be rules. We have a whole bunch on car ownership--got to have insurance, got to wear seat belts, got to pass a driver's test. Of course, we don't have Constitutional amendments giving us the right to drive cars (damn you, James Madison), so the argument goes.

I have come to accept that citizens have the right to own pistols and rifles and shotguns. But to me, machine guns are not necessary. I'm not against ranges where you can go and pay money to shoot them (they have them here in Vegas, and for a pacifist, I'm oddly attracted to them). Let's face it, guns are sexy. We've seen enough James Bond movies to fantasize about jumping around shooting a gun. But, let's use some common sense. Background checks of all purchases, gun shows included, should be required. I also think drug tests should be a requirement. Let's give these people who think welfare recipients should be drug-tested a taste of their own medicine.

And as for open-carry laws, they are nuts. I have to believe they are a nightmare for law enforcement. Just how is a cop who sees the two nitwits in the picture above supposed to know they are not about to shoot up the place? Tamir Rice, gunned down for carrying a toy gun in Cleveland, in a state with open-carry, was not breaking a law. Had he been white, he surely would be alive today. It seems that some police have made the distinction--if it's a black person with a gun, shoot first and ask questions later. A white person--go ahead and ask questions.

I have a solution, though. It worked somewhat in the 1960s, but would require some very brave people to implement it. When the Black Panthers were active, Ronald Reagan, then governor of California, pushed through gun control laws, because white people have always been scared of black people with guns (as Michael Moore showed in Bowling for Columbine, white America's obsession with firearms really is about fear of black people). If black people in Texas start carrying AK-47s to the 7-Eleven, white people may think twice about open-carry laws. Of course, those black people may just get gunned down by cops.

We have a few national diseases. Racism is one, and xenophobia is another. Ammosexuality, as it has been dubbed, has been around for years, but is now in epidemic form, as state legislatures have lost their collective minds, and allowed people from George Zimmerman to Ammon Bundy, guys you would cross the street to avoid, to become heroes to the wingnut class. The obsession with guns is a disease that we need to eradicate, as more and more innocent people are shot and killed.