Golden Globes and Golden Showers

For someone who has a gilded toilet, the element Au has not been kind to Donald Trump this week. On Sunday night, at the Golden Globes, a weird awards show that somehow got prestigious even though only about 80 people vote on it (it's as if your block voted on their favorite movies and TV shows) made headlines when Meryl Streep, very likely the best actress Hollywood has ever produced, took the opportunity of winning a lifetime achievement award to rip Trump for his mocking of a disabled reporter back during the campaign.

This, as they say, set the Internet on fire. Predictably, the right attacked, saying that Trump's "mocking" has been debunked. A series of videos showing Trump waving his arms like a spastic person several times indicates, they say, that he wasn't mocking this guy, he just always waves his arms like that. I'm not sure I buy it, because in the video in question, Trump holds his arms exactly like that reporter does. Trump also says he never met him, but he prefaces his fake spasm by saying "You gotta see this poor guy." Also, anytime Trump says anything, we can be sure he's lying.

 But beyond that, Streep picked just one issue of many that shows that Trump is a horrible excuse for a human being. Do Republicans really see this man as a shining knight on a horse, and not a money-grubbing, heartless cretin? Their blindness is really amazing. Streep could have picked many other things--"Grab 'em by the pussy," wandering naked into Miss Teen USA's changing room, attacking the Mexican-American judge, wanting a registry of Muslims, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

We also heard a round of "celebrities should keep their mouths shut," as if becoming famous requires turning in one's freedom of speech. This is especially ironic since these people just elected a famous, rich TV star. One who has a gold toilet, and cares about the common man about as much as he does about yesterday's bowel movement. If I wanted someone to have my back, and guessed who cared about me as a human being more, I'd take Streep in a heartbeat.

The most predictable response came from Trump himself. On Facebook some friends and I, right after the speech, played Trump Tweet Bingo. I got the "over-rated" square, but missed on "Hillary Flunky." One is over-rated, of course, unless they like Trump, then they become the best ever (somewhere in Trump's brain, Jackie Evancho equals Beyonce). As Steven Colbert put it, "Over-rated? Have you seen Sophie's Choice?" I doubt being called over-rated hurts Streep any. She was once called too ugly to play the girl in King Kong, which was a huge bomb.

But here's what's galling--that Trump engages in these petty snits while also being President-Elect of the United States. Can you imagine Barack Obama taking after a criticism of him? No. Trump seems more concerned about Streep and Alec Baldwin than income inequality, bad drinking water, or Russia's intervention in Syria. He is so thoroughly non-presidential it's surreal. They say Nixon's downfall seemed Shakespearean, and Reagan's Iran-Contra scandal was written by Beckett. Trump's presidency, no matter how short it is, seems to be written by Ionesco.

Trump's bad week continued with an intelligent report that suggests Russia was blackmailing him. Here's one headline: "Donald Trump Denies That He Hired Russian Hookers For Golden Shower Party." Now, whether true or not, that is not a headline one wants to see one's name in. The facts of this report are in question, but the humorists of America seized on Trump enjoying being urinated on with glee. "Tinkle, Tailor, Soldier, Spy," tweeted Frank Coniff. "Inauguration Day Weather Update: 100% Showers," tweeted Andy Borowitz. If that weren't enough, another article said that Trump may be the fattest president ever, even heavier than Taft. One could almost feel sorry for him, except for the fact he's incapable of feeling sorry for anyone else so fuck him.

The talk now is that eventually the Republican Party will gang up and invoke the provisions in the 25th Amendment, declare him incompetent, and remove him so that Mike Pence can take over. That would be fun to watch, even though Pence is in some ways worse. But then Trump would be free to have women pee on him whenever he wants.