Ladies and Gentleman The Fabulous Stains

Somewhere deep within Ladies and Gentleman The Fabulous Stains is a germ of a good idea. It's a film about the rock and roll business, and selling out while trying to maintain integrity. But this 1982 film is also a mess, with low production standards, some bad performances, and incompetent direction.

The director is Lou Adler, who certainly knows the music business, as a producer, manager, and just about everything else. But he is not a film director. The film looks dingy and at times even out of focus, and his attempt to portray the rise and fall and rise of a band seems inauthentic.

Diane Lane is the star. She's a teen-aged girl who becomes a media star after cursing out a news reporter on live TV. She starts a band, along with her sister (Marin Kanter) and cousin (Laura Dern). Problem: they can't play their instruments, and Lane can't sing. But in rock music, the message is often more important than the delivery. Lane throws a few tantrums on stage, which are picked up as feminist outcries, and soon girls everywhere are copying the look, which mostly consists of skunk-died hair, see-through blouses, and stockings.

The Stains are on a tour with a washed-up metal band, fronted by Fee Waybill (who is wonderful in The Tubes, but not so much as an actor). Also on the tour is a young British punk band, fronted by Ray Winstone (I didn't recognize him, he was so young). Waybill's band represents the lazy, resting on laurels type of band, while Winstone can't stand their corporate attitude. Eventually Winstone's band headlines, and he and Lane develop a love/hate relationship.

Much of the film is simply unbelievable, such as how Adler shows TV news, and how a band with no recordings and little promotion could become that much of a sensation. What is believable is how bands can quickly get past their rebellious attitude to centering in making money from merchandise (which they seldom see).

Lane, who would go on to become a fairly well-known star, has an appealing raw energy, and though her performance isn't technically great, it's satisfyingly emotional. Winstone, though his accent is tough to decipher, is good, and their are a bunch of musicians in the film, including two former Sex Pistols, Steve Jones and Paul Cook, and Paul Simenon of The Clash. It made me nostalgic for the punk era.