Big Brother 12

Another summer means another wading in the pool of trash TV with CBS' Big Brother, its twelfth installment, in which a dozen or so vapid, preening strangers are put in a house, shut off from all outside media, and pitted against one another. Every week they vote out one of their own until there's only one left, who wins half a million dollars.

On the message boards, a lot of folks are complaining about this season, but I'm enjoying it. Yes, these are a group of stupid people, but that's pretty much par for the course. I think the objections stem around the dominance so far of the "showmance" between Brendon, a swim coach/PhD candidate, and Rachel, a Las Vegas cocktail waitress/chemistry student. There shared love of science and good looks propelled them toward one another, and they immediately bonded, clinging to each other and facing the wrath of the other houseguests. It was train-wreck TV, Rachel particularly, a bimbo with hair extensions a shade of red not found in nature, gigantic fake tits, and a passive/aggressive martyr complex. At first I thought she had the dim Brendon wrapped around her finger (he constantly told her "I love you," never to hear it in return), but the show interviewed his ex-fiancee last night, who told of his manipulation. Perhaps they deserve each other.

The other guests aren't quite so interesting. The winner should be Matt, a multi-tattooed musician who told the others his wife has a rare disease, a complete lie. He's in a four-man alliance, boyishly called "The Brigade," with Enzo, a walking stereotype of a New Jersey goombah, and two lunkish jocks, Hayden and Lane. There's also Britney, a catty but very funny beauty queen from Arkansas, and Kathy, a sheriff from the same state who has been nicknamed "Slothy" on the boards for her habit of doing as little as possible. If I were a career criminal I'd head for her town, because it appears there's little she could do to stop a perpetrator.

Of course there's a flamboyant gay man, Ragan, who alluded on live television to being tied up in West Hollywood. Already eliminated were Andrew, an orthodox Jew and podiatrist.

Last night Rachel was finally booted of the house. Brendon, her beloved, has vowed revenge, so things should get interesting. While watching this show I can feel the loss of IQ points, but I still feel superior to this crew. Rachel and Brendon have set the image of scientists back immeasurably (she doesn't even know what the word integrity means, and he doesn't know how to pronounce Neanderthal). The reason I watch this show and avoid others like it, such as the Real World or Jersey Shore, is that it is a game that requires strategy. Of course, watching people this dumb try to strategize is like watching gerbils play chess, but it's ideal for summer time-wasting.