New Clowns in the Circus

Send in one clown--Joni Ennst

We liberal Democrats have been licking our wounds the last three days after another humiliating midterm election. If 2010 was a "shellacking," as Barack Obama put it, I hesitate to apply an appropriate metaphor. Maybe "annihilation." The prognosis was grim going into Tuesday, but the result was a bloodbath, with some Democrats, like Kay Hagan of North Carolina, or Independents like Greg Orman of Kansas, who were expected to win, did not. Even Sam Brownback, the much reviled governor of Kansas, won re-election.

As of today, the Alaska senate race has not been confirmed and there will be a run-off in Louisiana. If the Democrats lose both of those contests the Republicans will have a four-seat majority, the stuff of progressive nightmares. Combined with the House, they will have more members of Congress since 1929, and we all know what happened that year. There has been much soul-searching and spinning--I have learned that a lot gets down when the president and congress are of different parties (but just what gets done?), but for me I'm still--what the fuck?

Sure, Obama is not popular, but his lowest popularity rating--41 percent, is miles better than the lowest of the last two Republican presidents, both named Bush. And he was elected by a fairly healthy margin just two years ago. And I don't know about you, but to me things have gotten better domestically. Unemployment is down, the Affordable Care Act has given health care to millions who otherwise wouldn't have it, and even gas prices are down. Foreign policy has been a sticky wicket, but I can't think of a president who hasn't gotten bogged down in the mire of the Middle East in the last three decades.

So just what was this about? Anti-Obama? That seemed to the be the strategy, as the Republican Party for the last two years has offered nothing of substance except blocking the president's agenda. I can't get into the heads of those who might have voted for Obama in 2014 but voted for a Republican senator this time around. Just what the fuck are you thinking, Iowa? You voted for Obama twice, but sent bat-shit crazy Sarah Palin clone Joni Ernst to the Senate, replacing the venerable liberal Tom Harkin. This is the largest swing in all the Senate, and Ernst is sure to be the new Michele Bachmann in inspiring liberal comedians. Ernst is a conspiracy theorist, doesn't believe in global warming, used guns as props in her campaign ads, and like Palin, made sure everyone knew she loved slaughtering animals, in her case castrating pigs.

Ernst may be the most visible new clown to join the circus that is Congress, but she's far from alone. Tom Cotton, of Arkansas, besides consistently voting against the Violence Against Women Act, also has a fetish for ISIS fears, suggesting they are teaming up with those greasy Mexicans to storm across the border.

One of the bigger surprises Tuesday was the victory of Cory Gardner over Tom Udall in Colorado, where pot is legal. Gardner may not be crazy, just a slimy politician--he's the one who was for a personhood amendment (that would give legal rights to fetuses) but then flip-flopped on it when it wasn't making hay. Here's the good news from Tuesday--personhood amendments went down wherever they appeared, and by big numbers. That issue, which couldn't even pass in Mississippi, may be done for good.

In the House, where there are even more crazies, the Daily Kos has proposed the biggest new loon to be Wisconsin's Glenn Grothman, who thinks that there is a gay agenda and that schools are trying to turn your children gay. If they manage to stop boys from becoming rapists, I'm all for it. The Daily Kos thinks Grothman could be a challenger to Louis Gohmert's as America's Dumbest Congressman.

America's Meanest Congressman is Iowa's Steve King, but he could be challenged by Jody Hice of Georgia, a gun-happy preacher who thinks Islam is not covered by the First Amendment because it is not a true religion and is, of course, rabidly anti-gay.

But this all pales to the craziest Republican elected on Tuesday--a state senator from Colorado named Gordon Klingenschmitt (wasn't there a campfire song about him?), a former Navy pastor who, among other things, performed an exorcism on a woman to drive the lesbian out of her (he also claims to have performed an exorcism on President Obama, but I believe both participants have to be in the same room). He also claims that gays are in league with the devil and want us straight folks' souls, and that they will join with ISIS and behead Americans right here. When challenged on this remark, he said Democrats did not understand hyperbole. He received 70 percent of the vote.

There was some good news Tuesday. In addition to personhood going down, minimum wage raises were passed in four states, and marijuana was legalized in Washington, D.C., where the new clowns can now go one toke over the line, sweet Jesus, one toke over the line.