The 8th Day

The winner of the Adult Video News Best Film of 2009 was The 8th Day, an impressively elaborate production that as, with most "prestige" porn productions these days, misses the boat on why people watch adult films. The people who made this have done a nice job--the production values are almost equivalent to something you might see at three A.M. on Cinemax--but for those who like their porn sexy, you might want to look elsewhere.

The film concerns Kayden Kross (pictured above) as a young woman who awakens from suspended animation. She emerges into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Over the course of the film she discovers that her father, a scientist, was responsible for setting off the "big burn" that destroyed almost all of humanity. She teams up with Amber Rayne and heads toward the kingdom of the local prince, who preaches an anti-technology message, even though he privately enjoys all the comforts of electricity.

The sex scenes come in two familiar types: the goth-punk and the Roman orgy. In the former, the performers wear combat boots and ripped clothing and have sex in dirty alleys. In the latter, characters wear toga-like outfits and have group sex under tents. I favor the latter, as no woman looks sexy to me wearing combat boots. There is also the bizarre scene of Tori Black, Bree Olson, and Poppy Morgan having a girl-girl-girl scene while howling like feral cats, their bodies smeared with paint. Not for me.

Supposedly the adult film industry makes money hand over fist, but I'm baffled with the economics on something like this. The 8th Day comes in a four-disc package. The movie itself, which is over four hours, takes up two discs, and there are two discs of extras, including a two-hour "making of" documentary, which I guess is lavish self-congratulation. Do they really sell enough of these to make a profit? I'm guessing the film's budget was close to a million dollars.

Kross is a lovely woman, but she does not possess the acting ability to even manage this part. Rayne, who reminds me of Susan Saint James, is a little better, and Kylie Ireland, who is one of the producers, makes a too-brief appearance.

I can see why this thing would win awards, but I didn't find it nearly as sexy as many films that cost a fraction of the budget.