Santa Baby

My favorite contemporary Christmas song is "Santa Baby," written by Joan Javits (niece of Senator Jacob), Fred Ebb, and Philip Springer. A lot of people, to judge by some brief Internet research, hate this song, presumably because a gold digger making a plea to Santa as if he were a sugar daddy isn't exactly the spirit of Christmas, but I am completely amused by it, and think it's also a well constructed song.

I especially like the internal rhymes, which are almost Sondheimian in their structure. Consider the line: "Santa baby, I'm filling my stocking with a duplex, and checks/Sign your 'X' on the line/Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight." The way duplex, checks, and then the "X" rhyme is pretty clever, I think.

The song has been covered numerous times, but Eartha Kitt had the first version, which most people prefer. But I like the one Madonna did for the benefit album of Christmas songs for the Special Olympics. Kitt's version is very stately, almost too respectful, while Madonna gives the song a kick with her Betty Boop voice (complete with "boop-doop-ee-doop"). But what I really appreciate about the song is the Nelson Riddle-like orchestration, which takes me to an era of cocktails, fedoras, and cardigan sweaters.

By comparison, note the charmless Taylor Swift countrified version, which has no playfulness and worse, no sexuality.

Because sexuality is what gives this song its sauce. Aside from "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause," I can't think of a commonly heard Christmas song that alludes to it. And while that is certainly a turn-off to many, it makes me think fondly of another Christmas tradition--the Santa cartoons in Playboy. For years, every December issue is chock full of cartoons depicting Santa as a horny old goat. Many hate these cartoons (I remember Bill Maher, of all people, expressing his displeasure) but I love them. There's a certain impishness about them that amuses me, and I like to think that Santa is getting his fair share.

Hopefully Santa got some last night, and I hope all of you get what you want this Christmas.